I Finally Understood Anonymity

I’ve never been called the brightest bulb in the pack.  So, imagine my surprise when, after years of being in the program, I was presented with a  deeper rationale for anonymity that was so much more compelling that I immediately took to it.

My initial understanding of anonymity was the commonsense understanding – the old “quid pro- quo.”  I wouldn’t want anyone blabbing to my boss, in-laws, or neighbors that I was secretly the town drunk.  So, I easily understood that I, in return, should keep my trap shut and not disclose who I saw or what I heard.  Easy-peasy.

Then came the lightning bolt.  I was at an AA conference where there was a possibility that professional athletes or Hollywood stars or big name businesspeople might be in attendance and that they might not want their anonymity blown (‘natch).

What blew me away was this new reason why I shouldn’t name drop.  Protecting their anonymity was an act of humility for me!  Back home in Cleveland, instead of puffing out my chest and coyly saying, “Oh, you know, so and so was there,” I should realize that my motive would be, once again, “aren’t I special?”  I would be strutting around trying to draw attention to me (once again) – how cool I was for  rubbing shoulders with so and so.  For the first time I was seeing that practicing anonymity was an act of humility on my part.  Yes, I could still act on the old commonsense understanding, but here was a profoundly spiritual reason not to break someone’s anonymity –  deflation of my own insatiable ego.

I am forever grateful for this lesson which reminds me to regularly examine my motives.

– Paul R.