Quest for Emotional Sobriety

As I continue on the path of sobriety, my vision of what I need to attain has changed dramatically. Once concerned with the status quo, I now find  myself longing to possess a  higher degree of spiritual principles to integrate into the core of my being.

In addition to maintaining sobriety, passing the message along to others and giving back to the fellowship, I have a desire to reach a place where I have emotional sobriety. A manner of living, where I can take life as it comes, not concerned with events or their subsequent outcomes, focus on what I can do for others and become unaffected by people’s words or actions; a place of peace.

Going through sobriety and the steps, I have been relieved of many of the crippling defects that have been a part of me. Amazing as this release has been, deep   inside, elements of these defects remain. I can still find myself  affected by individual’s words or actions, life’s ever-changing course and the desire to secure the basic human  instincts of survival and security.

When caught up in what is happening in my immediate surroundings, I am often taken aback, drawn into my own small world, and as a result, lack the ability to focus on the needs of others. Though I can rationalize focusing attention on myself, in reality, this creates an escalation of one of my most glaring defects, self-centeredness.

In many an instance, my back has been up against the wall, brought on by an underlying defect that suddenly emerged.

In these times, I have often been forced to look at what brought upon my present situation. Unbeknownst to me, I became caught up in the circumstances at hand, forgetting to step back, reflect, gain composure and act in a mature and rational manner.

With these realizations, fear would come over me; was I ever going to be rid of this defect? Fortunately, I have learned, with work and a strong desire, I could change. Slowly, I began to possess restraint of tongue and pen and gained the ability to have perspective, realize everything is not about me and choose personal peace over conflict and turmoil.

Bill W. wrote; emotional sobriety is the next frontier. I believe his vision was correct. As the years go by, it is imperative I strive to be a better version of myself on a daily basis. Though some days I will fail and other days will be somewhat successful, with each effort, I will become closer to the version of who I want to be, a person who can live amidst the chaos of the world and maintain an element of peace.

While I possess no illusions that I will ever obtain perfection in the quest for emotional sobriety, I know, if I keep striving, I can become a more spiritual being, and, as a result, be able to offer tolerance, patience, love and understanding to those who are in my life.

By Lisa F.