How to Take the Fifth Step

Many sponsors use a simple format based on the inventory categories found in the Big Book. While the exact format may vary, the spirit remains the same: thoroughness, honesty, and willingness.

First: Complete Your Fourth Step

Before taking Step Five, have your Fourth Step inventory written out and organized. Many members find it helpful to review their inventory beforehand and note anything they may have overlooked.

Next: Choose the Right Person

Step Five states:

Common choices include:

A Sponsor

For many A.A. members, a sponsor is the natural choice for taking a Fifth Step. Sponsors are familiar with the program, understand the importance of confidentiality, and can offer guidance based on their own experience. However, not every sponsor is comfortable listening to a Fifth Step inventory, and those personal boundaries should be respected.

An Experienced A.A. Member

Some members choose to share their inventory with another trusted member of the fellowship who is not their sponsor.

A Member of the Clergy or Other Spiritual Leader

Priests, pastors, rabbis, ministers, and other spiritual leaders are common choices for those who prefer to complete this step within a spiritual setting.

A Therapist or Counselor

Professional help may be especially valuable when a Fourth Step involves deep trauma, abuse, or other issues that require specialized care.

Regardless of whom you choose, the most important qualities are trust, confidentiality, and experience.

Before You Begin

Before taking your Fifth Step:

• Pray for honesty and freedom from fear.
• Set aside several uninterrupted hours.
• Bring your written Fourth Step.
• Remember that you are seeking freedom, not perfection.

1. Resentments

Review each resentment and discuss:

• Who or what you were resentful toward.
• Why the resentment existed.
• What part of self was affected (pride, security, ambitions, relationships, etc.).
• Your own mistakes or defects involved.

Questions to consider include:

• Where was I selfish?
• Where was I dishonest?
• Where was I self-seeking?
• Where was I afraid?

2. Fears

Review each fear and ask:

• What am I afraid of?
• How has fear affected my life?
• How have I relied upon myself instead of God?

Discuss how fear has influenced your thoughts, actions, and decisions.

3. Sex and Relationships

Review:

• Harms done to others.
• Selfishness and inconsideration.
• Jealousy, dishonesty, manipulation, or misuse of relationships.
• What a sane and sound ideal for relationships would look like.

4. Harms Done to Others

Consider harms involving:

• Family
• Friends
• Employers
• Coworkers
• Institutions
• Financial matters

The focus is not merely on what happened, but on identifying the exact nature of your wrongs.

5. Secrets

Many sponsors ask questions such as:

“Is there anything you’ve left out?”

“What was your part in this situation?”

“What repeating patterns do you notice in your behavior?”

“Did we forget or omit anything important?”

Often, this is where the greatest freedom is found.

After Completing Step Five

The Big Book (page 75) suggests that we:

• Go home and spend an hour quietly reviewing what we have done.
• Ask ourselves whether our work has been thorough.
• Thank God from the bottom of our hearts that we know Him better.
• Read Steps Six and Seven.
• Become willing to have God remove our defects.

A Simple Prayer Before Beginning

Many members discover that Step Five is not nearly as frightening as they imagined. What begins with fear often ends with relief, gratitude, and a deeper sense of connection with God and others.

The Big Book promises that if we have been thorough, “we can look the world in the eye.” (p. 75)