The Values I Learned as a Child

An All-Encompassing Spiritual Roadmap

As I navigate my way through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, with only a limited education but a desire to learn all I can about life as it unfolds, it occurs to me that most of the things the program teaches me are things I have been taught before.

I learned the Ten Commandments in church. In the Boy Scouts, I learned that a scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. In sports I learned of teamwork and disappointment. In kindergarten, I learned to play fair in the sand box. I also heard of the Golden Rule.

These things have been around long before me and even before AA. So, where did I go wrong? Like most Alcoholics that come into the program, I had a myriad of personal problems. And at first, I believed those life issues—including marital, legal, economic, physical, etc. — caused me to drink the way I did. At that time, I was not experienced enough to understand the ins and outs of these things.

I am not sure that anyone can drop what they have been conditioned to do just because they quit drinking. There must be more to it than that.

If we are fortunate enough to envision the wonderful life we can experience as the result of fully embracing this program, we will first want to clear up the wreckage of the past. We can do this by thoroughly going through the 12 Steps in the spirit they were intended to be taken, being careful not to hold back anything.

As we approach the Twelfth Step, we are introduced to the Prayer of Saint Francis in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. In the prayer, not one of his requests is for help with things that are of a selfish or material nature. Francis expressed that these virtues are the answer misguided thinking.

I am not affiliated with any religious organization, but I am not threatened by religious doctrines. I agree with the statement on p. 87 in the Big Book. “Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.”

I am sometimes honored when a newer member of this Program asks for some guidance and usually suggest writing out this prayer in long hand, pasting it on a mirror and reading it every day for a minimum of 30 days. I guarantee that will influence their thinking for the rest of their life. It did for me. I do not know of a more practical thing to set the tone for interactions with others.

Thinking back on it, I always knew the right thing to do, but was not always strong enough to do it. I dismissed these things, not realizing the pain that would result as I lost my direction in life. The Saint Francis Prayer is one of the ways the Program suggests we revisit our early value system. It gives us a spiritual direction that deals with the change in our inner self. If we heal in that area, the material world will take care of itself.

When faced with a sticky situation, I have a choice whether to escalate it or to back off and withdraw with an attitude of love and understanding.

After years of trying my best to live in the spirit of this prayer, it occurred to me that, as the result, I qualify in all those things I learned as a child in church, in the Boy Scouts, in childhood sports, in Kindergarten and through The Golden Rule. To me, Alcoholics Anonymous is an all-encompassing spiritual roadmap.

By Rick R.