The first part of my life was spent developing a false-ego-self which placed me on shaky ground with the truth. Dr. Silkworth tells us that the alcoholic cannot differentiate the true from the false in the matter of drink, and that certainly was true for me! A sincere decision to quit drinking forever in the morning found me boiled as an owl by late evening (AA #3 Bill D.’s term).
I seemed to have no choice in the matter of drink. My ego convinced me that my actor’s face was my true identity—interestingly the Greek root word for actor is hypocrite. An alcoholic cannot drink on the truth, only on a lie, but I had no truth! My powerful false-ego-self allowed me to believe a lie regardless of my best efforts with self-will and self-knowledge. Unknowingly, I was helpless and hopeless in the matter of drink.
But at forty-three years of age, an AA sponsor taught me how to use the Twelve-Steps to develop a brand new honest-ego-self! Thus has begun—rather unlike Dr. Jung mentioned above—the evening of my life and I haven’t had to drink for many years.
Dr. Sam Shoemaker, Bill W.’s Oxford Group sponsor, summed up AA as “Out of self, Into Go, Into Others.” What a great recipe! These years, because of AA, what was true in the matter of drink in the morning, remains the same in the evening—even during happy hour!
By Bob S., Richmond, IN