What If We Stopped Donating?

Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:

1. Being rocketed in the Fourth Dimension $49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. Fifth dimension trips optional. “Straight to the Moon, Alice” – still free. See your sponsor for details.
2. Sponsorship – was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/15 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each.
3. Membership Dues now $29.99/per month, 10% discount for 1 year plan.
4. Seating Charges – Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90 in 90 plan.
5. The “Pink Cloud” was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.
6. Coffee to be $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7. Hugs now will be $2.50 each.
8. Conscious contact with GOD now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 0.10 cents/minute fee over. New “double your minutes for life” plan is a low $49.99 one time charge-holidays and weekends extra. See the current rate schedule, as GOD is VERY busy.
9. Accidental “cell phone going off during meeting charge” now set at $25.00 per ring (not per call).
10. “I’ve Been Thinking” fees to now be $3.00 each, with a relapse re-entry fee of only $99.99 each, if you’re lucky enough to make it back into the rooms.

By tongue in cheek, Akron Intergroup News, Oct 2009